How can I help you?
Psychotherapy is a process that involves a trusting partnership that will enable you to feel comfortable sharing the most intimate details about your life. You need to feel safe enough to explore your feelings and attitudes without being judged or experiencing a sense of inferiority or helplessness. Most individuals have learned to manage the difficult aspects of their life through inefficient coping skills and by developing a set of armor that prevents them from experiencing the fulfillment that life can offer. My goal is to develop a rapport with my clients so that they can let down their guard at a pace that "feels right" and comfortable for them. By slowly chipping away at detrimental belief systems and dysfunctional behaviors, you will learn more effective ways of dealing with demands and experiences, and develop a "toolbox" of strategies to use when you need them most.
The approach to working with your challenges will be uniquely tailored to your personal needs, values, and desires. Although I will challenge you to go deeper and think more intensely about your problems, I will not coerce you or make you feel that you are not capable of progress. In fact, we will continuously push your limits and take time to notice and applaud your successes. The idea is not to strip you of your armor without replacing it with more heavy-duty protective gear. Think of your current coping skills as a shield and your weapons as a bow and arrow — effective in offering some protection, but still exposing you to tremendous risk. Whereas, if you had a suit of Kevlar armor and advanced tools instead, you would be far more prepared and secure, even in the face of vulnerability.
How does this philosophy translate to meaningful help for me?
For instance, you may have an anger management problem that interferes with your social or family relationships, or that is detrimental to your working life. You must first be comfortable accepting and admitting that you have a problem in this area. We will first identify current coping skills that are helpful in these situations, and also explore those that negatively impact your life. Together, we will process your anger in more manageable ways, identify and understand your triggers, and explore the consequences of your actions. We will identify several strategies that work for you, and I will teach you how to develop better strategies to get what you want out of life — without hurting yourself or others.
Once you have achieved this level of comfort and proficiency, you can go deeper into your past and analyze the reasons for the emergence of maladaptive behaviors you've learned over time. You can question them critically, without judging yourself, and make conscious efforts to break the cycles and exert control over your emotions and ultimately your life. This approach is similar for almost all difficulties and conditions: first accept, then develop skills, then challenge beliefs and behaviors, then go deeper to explore the roots and patterns, and then plan for change.
People often ask how many sessions it will take. The answer is as much in your hands as it is in mine. Those who take therapy seriously and put their full effort into the process will likely achieve their desired outcomes more fully and more quickly — though even with tremendous effort, unique challenges may prolong the process. Growth and personal achievement along the way make the experience worthwhile.
I enjoy my work immensely. Each day, I learn about myself and about life by working with my clients, and I do my very best to create an atmosphere for healing and growth.
— Dr. Steve Hartman